What to do when fall in love while Au Pairing?

Well, let’s get this straight, love is in the air and it happens and something beyond our control. You don’t know to whom you would fall for or when or for what reason. So here is some advice for Au Pairs who find their significant other abroad.

Be open about your relationship with your host family – Remember they are your family, therefore; relationship is a serious issue for them too. They should acknowledge your relationship and a person you are seeing. This is how you show your respect and how important they are to you. Be communicative and always ask your host family before inviting your love into their house. Learn boundary; what is acceptable or unacceptable for them, then your relationship would get more comfortable as long as you don’t cross the line.

Never invite him/her to stay over at your host family’s house – Ok, this might sound rather conservative and despite casual sex between a couple is a common thing in westerners’ perspective, yet; it indicates disrespect (unless your host family is SUPER open-minded about this, of course) My advice is you and your partner are better off finding other place that doesn’t violate family’s rule and gives you more privacy. Keep in mind as well that protected sex is a must. It isn’t going to be fun to get pregnant during an exchange year. Don’t embarrass yourself and your host family with unplanned pregnancy.

If you have to move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend – again, discuss this thoroughly with your host family. It happens that your lover wants you to move in with him or her once he/she is in a relationship with you (this is a common practice in Europe), but don’t forget your job, your responsibility. No matter what your host family is your employer. They hired you, paid you to come here and welcomed into their family and took care of you, hence; you should have gratitude for them and make sure the decision you are going to make is fair for both parties. If you really want to move in with your love, I suggest you, at least, carry on your usual work for your host family until the contract expires. I know this way tends work better for those whose partner lives in the same city, yet; for those with long distance relationship should take this advice into consideration too. Conflicts with your host family will negatively affect your job opportunity in the long run. Most negative cases, Au pairs end up receiving no reference from their previous employer and that’s when applying for an Au Pair job in other country become difficult for you.

Prepare for long-distance relationship – There are 3 cases I usually witness; Despite the relationship, 1. Au Pair decides to return to home to get along with his/her life 2. Continue with Boyfriend/girlfriend visa or 3. Get married (because it’s easiest way to get permission to remain his/her stay in that country). Since relationship is delicate and a private issue, I am not give opinion on which choice Au Pair should up for, because life circumstance of each of them is different, similarly to his/her degree of love for the lover, however; regarding the 2 latter cases, they don’t seem to cause much problem comparing to the first case. Most long-distance couples usually suffer from insecurity and lack of closeness when they are apart for a long time. Clearly, this is inevitable, so for those Au pairs who find love abroad, please discuss this issue with your lover at early stage of your relationship. Be clear about what you want in the relationship or which direction you and your lover are going to take afterwards. Doing this, your love will be prevented from heartbreak.

Love is wonderful! It will change you and make you a better person, but don’t forget, love without consciousness can bring sorrow too.

By Au Pair Alternative Thailand
www.aupair-alt.com